Why are perceived or real slights interpreted as rejections and reality by pwBPD?

In my disordered mind, it only takes one negative perception to signal the demise of our relationship and your inevitable rejection of me.

So now I believe that all you can see in me are my endless flaws. It means that you finally see me as the defective person that I really am and you will give up on me and reject me.

If I really care about you and you are really important to me, then I care about your opinion, and your judgment of me is profoundly crucial to me.

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If there is any doubt in my mind that this slight is in fact reality, I will convince myself that it is the reality to prepare myself for the worst possible end result. I’m always going to choose the worst possible outcome because assuming that you can see the good and bad in me simultaneously and still love me makes me feel like an arrogant fool and just doesn’t make sense to me because I see so little good in myself.

I want you to love me. I want you to love me so much that you’ll forgive my always unintentionally bad behavior and never ever reject or abandon me.

Because your opinion of me is so important to me, it cuts me to the bone when I perceive any negativity. It makes me feel unlovable if you, this wonderful, amazing person, doesn’t love me and maybe never really did. It tells me that you can see how awful of a person I really am. I always knew you were too good for me, and now you’ve realized it too. Which means you will reject me.

Ive been pretending to be okay and acting as normal as possible, but Im actually completely heartbroken after a recent breakup. Its painful and really affecting me, to the point where I cant concentrate at work, Ive lost my appetite, I cant sleep, and It feels as if my whole world has been turned upside down. I loved him so much. He said so many cruel things to me and it made me realize he must not have loved me the way I loved him, or he wouldnt have said such horrible things. How do I handle the heartbreak and why cant I accept that he didnt love me and just forget about him?